Curry- Friend or Foe?

Today I decided to go through the kitchen to see what I could make my girlfriend for dinner, she isn't a huge fan of spicy food, even a tiny bit of pepper in a dish and she will notice and have a sulk.

So as you can see, I must be careful with what sort of dish I make, as the slightest slip up and I am in trouble with the missus. One thing she loves is butter chicken.

Whenever I ask her what she wants for dinner, I get an excited reply about either McDonald's or Butter Chicken. The pity is that whenever she eats that gracious mild tasting curry, she never finishes her portion. She gets into it so much that 3/4 of the way through she has yet another sulk and decides she cant finish it off- Hey, more for me!

India is widely known around the western- and eastern- world as the birthplace of efficient bowel movements. Dont bother with your daily dose of fiber, or having shakes or multi-vitamins that would increase your digestive system's ease of operation- Curry is the way to go.

However, there is just not one dish.. Have a look below at Bain's Guide to Curry:

Bains Guide To Curry! 

Om Nom?

• Korma - mild, yellow in colour, with almond and coconut powder
• Dupiaza/Dopiaza - medium curry the word means "double onion" referring to the boiled and fried onions used as its primary ingredient.
• Pasanda - a mild curry sauce made with cream, coconut milk, and almonds.
• Roghan Josh (from "Roghan" (fat) and "Josh" (energy/heat - which as in English may refer to either 'spiciness' or temperature)) - medium, with tomatoes
• Bhuna - medium, thick sauce, some vegetables
• Dhansak - medium/hot, sweet and sour sauce with lentils (originally a Parsi dish). This dish often also contains pineapple.
• Madras - fairly hot curry, red in colour and with heavy use of chili powder
• Patia - generally similar to a Madras with lemon juice and tomato purée
• Jalfrezi - onion, green chili and a thick sauce
• Vindaloo - this is generally regarded as the classic "hot" restaurant curry, although a true Vindaloo does not specify any particular level of spiciness. The name has European origins, derived from the Portuguese "vinho" (wine) and "alho" (garlic)
• Phaal - extremely hot.
• Tindaloo - Extremely hot in a similar vein to Phaal. Generally only found around Bradford[citation needed] and the north in general.
• Afghan - with chickpeas.
• And lest we forget, Butter Chicken. It is not actually a traditional curry dish per-say, it is said to have been invented in the UK to cater to the pallets of westerners that could not handle the spicier dishes. 

The word "curry" is an anglicized version of the Tamil word kari (கறி), meaning 'sauce,' which is usually understood to mean vegetables/meat cooked with spices with or without a gravy.. You learn something every day huh?

Be Gone !!!

The danger about curries however, is that they can cause -at worst- to rip you a new one. It is no lie that the plumbing industry internationally must be in some sort of religious cult to continue to serve the public with high volumes of curry, blocking up toilets and portaloos everywhere. The longer curries are served on our dinner tables, the longer these guys get their pockets stuffed with cash from late night emergency call-outs because of blocked pipes.

We must take this cult down. But is a boycott of curry really worth it?

The answer that this blogger thinks is the best is one that is clearly very simple. Wipe out those beef vindaloos. Dont even bother with a Tika Misala. Stick to Butter Chicken, youll be able to wash it down with a nice coke or beer- youll be safe and sound.

Verdict: Curry is a friend. Secretive Religious Cults are foe.